Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 13057  13058  13059  13060  13061  13062  13063  13064  13065  13066  13067 ...в конец
  • Jack
    I'm training to be an engineer <a href=" http://www.aptech.com/buy-nolvadex-online-india.pdf ">buy nolvadex online canada</a> Sources earlier told Reuters regulators in the Netherlandsand France are working on plans to prevent Euronext from fallinginto foreign hands, including encouraging their domesticinstitutions to take large stakes in the firm.
  • Cliff
    How much does the job pay? <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/order-rogaine.pdf ">can rogaine be purchased over the counter</a> There are 10 rotating Security Council members who serve for two years at a time. Each year five rotating members are replaced. The five permanent veto-wielding members are the United States, Britain, France, Russia and China.
  • Young
    How much is a Second Class stamp? <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/buy-generic-rogaine-foam.pdf ">rogaine online order</a> "Anything which prevents people accessing indecent images of children and stops more children from being harmed, can only be a good thing but much more is needed and the industry must play their part and take ownership of this problem."
  • Irea
    Lost credit card <a href=" http://www.aptech.com/online-amoxicillin-order.pdf ">buy amoxicillin 500mg online</a> According to Erica Seifert, a senior associate at Greenberg Quinlan who worked on the poll, this trend has been consistent since they started breaking out the GOP this way three years ago. "Independents who lean Republican are behaviorally more conservative than those who call themselves moderate Republicans," she says. While I would have assumed it was a function of tea party-types who don't want to be identified as GOPers, Seifert says that their model accounts for them as tea party-supporting Republicans. "We do know that this is real and it's not unique to this survey," she says. Democratic-leaning independents, by contrast, don't tend to be as consistently Democratic in behavior.
  • Forest
    Where do you live? <a href=" http://www.aptech.com/can-you-buy-prilosec-in-australia.pdf ">best place to buy omeprazole
    </a> Not everything in life is worth going into battle for. In fact, there are very few things in life, which are worth getting really angry about, but you do not want to be a doormat either, you do want to keep your sense of self intact, so how do you know when to go with the follow and when to go to battle?
  • Dorian
    I'd like , please <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/where-can-i-buy-aygestin.pdf ">buy aygestin</a> If inflation and the job market picked up enough, Bernanke said then, the FOMC anticipated that "it would be appropriate to moderate the monthly pace of purchases later this year; and if the subsequent data remain broadly aligned with our current expectations for the economy, we would continue to reduce the pace of purchases in measured steps through the first half of next year, ending purchases around midyear."
  • Maynard
    Lost credit card <a href=" http://buypropeciacheappropeciaorderpropeciapurchasepropeciaonline.com/ ">buy propecia</a> Supporters of Egyptian president Mohamed Mursi waving a national flag run from tear gas during clashes with riot police at the 6th October Bridge in the Ramsis square area in central Cairo July 15, 2013.
  • Gaston
    What qualifications have you got? <a href=" http://buypropeciacheappropeciaorderpropeciapurchasepropeciaonline.com/#handsome ">buy propecia online
    </a> Prince William certainly looks the part: there is a warmth in his smile and a family man&rsquo;s twinkle of pride in his eye. But these days, I can tell you, just looking the part isn&rsquo;t enough. Modern fatherhood has changed. There will be pressure on William to be the sort of dad a nation can look up to, and that takes more than reading the occasional bedtime story. He may have satisfied the waiting press outside St Mary&rsquo;s Hospital with the news he has changed his first nappy, but the public will want to know he&rsquo;ll be changing hundreds. Or at least wearing a papoose.
  • Scotty
    Can I take your number? <a href=" http://buycialisblack800mg.com/#bella ">cialis black 800mg</a> Indiana cut taxes and built up a surplus. Now it consistently ranks highest in the Midwest in business climate surveys, while neighbors Illinois and Michigan struggle financially. But Indiana's unemployment rate, at 8.3 percent, is a full percentage point above the national average as its manufacturing base struggles to recover from the recession.
  • Reginald
    Remove card <a href=" http://buycialis10mg.accountant/ ">buy cialis 10mg australia</a> (Additional reporting by Kevin Mwanza and Duncan Miriri and Richard Lough in Nairobi, Joseph Akwiri in Mombasa, John Tompo in Narok, Jenny Clover in Kigali and Elias Biryabarema in Kampala; Writing by James Macharia; Editing by Michael Roddy)
  • Phillip
    I'm on holiday <a href=" http://buycialis5mgonline.accountant/#weekly ">cheap cialis 5 mg</a> The news came as shares in Samsung SDI fell as much as 3.7percent on Friday, after a video of a burning Tesla electric carsent the U.S. firm's shares plunging overnight. U.S. emergencyofficials said the fire occurred in the electric vehicle'slithium-ion battery, the latest in a string of problems for thebatteries, which are widely used in electric vehicles sold byvarious automakers.
  • Landon
    I hate shopping <a href=" http://www.aptech.com/zetia-cheap.pdf#opposed ">zetia cheap</a> "We assume customers with smaller demand are likely toswitch to the new electric power companies," said Naoko Iguchi,a spokeswoman at Kyushu Electric, which lost 340 accounts inApril-June - more than double the number in the previous 12months - as it raised tariffs to cover higher fuel costs whileits nuclear reactors are shut down.
  • Robby
    Have you got a telephone directory? <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/buy-losartan-uk.pdf ">buy losartan tablets</a> “A little hectic down the stretch,” he said. “Obviously, the three-putt, I hit two pretty good putts, they didn’t go in. And then you could tell the nerves at 6 leaving a putt short a little bit. But the putt at 7 got me going.”
  • Theodore
    I'm only getting an answering machine <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/buy-fluconazole-online-uk.pdf ">buy fluconazole tablets</a> Nevertheless, his progress so far is impressive, and we can't wait to see the final result. Sentch estimates his plastic cost for the 3D printing process at about $2,000. Even including the price of the printer, that's a bargain for an incredibly accurate body.
  • Orlando
    It's a bad line <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/buy-fluconazole-online-uk.pdf ">order fluconazole 150mg</a> Last Friday, the local water authority in Ozd implemented a decision taken by the town council in June to turn off 28 pumps completely, and reduce the pressure in a further 60, says the BBC&#039;s Nick Thorpe in Budapest.
  • Laurence
    I've got a very weak signal <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/betamethasone-dipropionate-cream-usp-005-buy-online.pdf ">betamethasone valerate cream buy online uk</a> The ministry said on Thursday that GSK executives in Chinahad confessed to bribery and tax violations during one of astring of investigations into foreign firms in the world'ssecond-biggest economy.
  • Garrett
    I'm in my first year at university <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/order-propecia-canada-no-prescription.pdf#theft ">buy proscar finasteride</a> Witecki told Reuters the principal reason for the problemswith the contract was not the design of the bridge but mistakesby Alpine. He said the price it offered to carry out thecontract was unrealistically low.
  • Ariana
    A few months <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/order-propecia-canada-no-prescription.pdf#they ">cheap generic propecia uk</a> But the much-anticipated public debut of the baby was under wraps. The infant was in her car seat, covered up by a white blanket as a nanny carried her from the parking garage into the doctor’s Los Angeles office.
  • Lowell
    Sorry, you must have the wrong number <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/cheapest-place-to-buy-accutane-online.pdf ">buying accutane over the internet</a> The key problem with Veron in England, especially at Manchester United, was the tendency of the coaches to view him as an attacking playmaker. He was often used in behind the strikers, thus often having his back to goal. He was therefore unable to use his excellent vision to organise the play. For me he was always much more effective as a deep lying playmaker, with all the play in front of him.
  • Shane
    It's a bad line <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/buy-losartan-uk.pdf ">buy losartan potassium</a> Criticizing the top brass has long been taboo. But that too has changed after the Supreme Court ruled last year that the military must stop interfering in politics, eroding the generals' untouchable status in the eyes of the public.
  • Kayla
    I'm in a band <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/bimatoprost-ophthalmic-solution-003-buy-in-canada.pdf ">purchase cheap bimatoprost</a> * U.S. House of Representatives Republicans are consideringsigning on to a short-term increase in the government'sborrowing authority to buy time for negotiations on broaderpolicy measures, according to a Republican leadership aide.
  • Carey
    I'm a partner in <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/buy-albuterol-online-uk.pdf#harassment ">albuterol purchase</a> Few sectors pack the symbolic punch of infant formula, bothfor Chinese consumers and the government. Since 2008, whenmelamine in infant formula killed six babies and sickened300,000 others, the infant formula industry has epitomized thetrade-off between rapid economic growth and health and safety.
  • Kasey
    I'd like to transfer some money to this account <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/amoxicillin-cheap-online.pdf ">where can i buy amoxicillin uk</a> Panel chairman Donald DeFronzo, commissioner of the Department of Administrative Services, said the safety and security standards the group ultimately recommends will be applied to new school construction as well as renovations and retrofits of existing buildings.
  • Lorenzo
    Can I call you back? <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/cipralex-cheap.pdf#bail ">cipralex 10 mg +order
    </a> In particular, if Detroit emergency manager Kevyn Orr is able to treat GO debt as unsecured, "the example could weaken GO claims relative to secured liabilities in other potential bankruptcy situations, and we could change the rank ordering of various debt security types including GO bonds," Moody's said.
  • Keven
    Can I take your number? <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/buy-albuterol-online-uk.pdf ">purchase ventolin inhalers</a> The next step is to organise massive advertising campaigns over Twitter, getting users to download the app, which starts sending texts without the users&#8217; permission to premium rate numbers. The affiliates take the money, some of which gets invested into more malware.
  • Dennis
    I'm training to be an engineer <a href=" http://yuzz.org.es/buy-propranolol-online-canada.pdf#jew ">buy inderal australia</a> Loans originated in the past few years have performed much better. The number of loans seriously delinquent at the end of July was 15 percent below the level of a year earlier and at the lowest point in almost three years.
  • Marcelo
    Have you seen any good films recently? <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/amoxicillin-cheap-online.pdf#essence ">can you buy amoxicillin over the counter in usa</a> The number of Brazilians who consider Rousseff'sadministration "great" or "good" was 36 percent, up from anall-time low 30 percent in late June, according to a Datafolhaopinion poll published in local newspaper Folha de S. Paulo.
  • Bruno
    How much is a First Class stamp? <a href=" http://www.aptech.com/buy-dostinex-australia.pdf#tight ">buy cabergoline research chemical</a> Childish and nutty, yes, but in the big picture, merely annoying; flesh-and-blood journalists die on the job in places like Syria, Mexico and Russia, often violently. We sports reporters might get pushed around a little bit sometimes, but we have it relatively easy. I believe it's worth preserving a sense of humor about things like college kids stabbing scarecrows.
  • Mikel
    How much is a First Class stamp? <a href=" http://www.aptech.com/buy-hoodia-lollipops-uk.pdf ">buy unique hoodia online</a> "If nothing happens in Congress, (Obama) will be tempted to issue an executive order like he did for the DREAM Act kids a year ago where he basically legalizes 11 million people by the sign of a pen,” Florida Sen. Marco Rubio said on “The Morning Show with Preston Scott” on Tallahassee radio station WFLA.
  • Jarvis
    I support Manchester United <a href=" http://www.inautonews.com/buy-alendronate-sodium-online.pdf ">where can i buy alendronate</a> The version of the plan revealed on Thursday is lessambitious than earlier efforts, but is designed to win overadditional provinces before its 2015 launch. Still, theFrench-speaking province of Quebec, led by a separatistgovernment, rejected the plan and hinted at fighting it incourt.
Страницы:в начало... 13057  13058  13059  13060  13061  13062  13063  13064  13065  13066  13067 ...в конец