Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 14748  14749  14750  14751  14752  14753  14754  14755  14756  14757  14758 ...в конец
  • Kenny
    I'm in my first year at university <a href=" http://radiocfxu.ca/?buy-propecia-online-uk.pdf ">cheapest place to buy propecia</a> "I think this will certainly embolden calls for digital trade protectionism," in the form of countries demanding that companies store data locally instead of in a company's home country or in the cloud, Colvin said.
  • Jamaal
    I'm happy very good site <a href=" http://sencillobikes.com/where-can-i-purchase-periactin-pills.pdf ">cyproheptadine hcl 4mg gain weight</a> His enhanced resilience has been tested throughout the club&rsquo;s pre-season tour of Asia, ahead of the first La Liga confrontation with Levante on Sunday, and he confesses to few worries about becoming a target for brutish defenders. &ldquo;In Brazil it is even worse,&rdquo; he shrugs. &ldquo;I am used to it.&rdquo;
  • Melanie
    How many more years do you have to go? <a href=" http://www.newsteinehotel.com/megalis-tablets-side-effects.pdf ">megalis 20 dosage</a> World cereals stocks at the close of seasons ending in 2014 are now seen at about 559 million tons, down 2 percent from a previous estimate in September, though still 12 percent above their opening levels.
  • Vanessa
    A First Class stamp <a href=" http://right2fueluk.com/buy-imitrex-uk.pdf ">buy imitrex 100mg</a> Break through this crust, however, and from the middle, the liquid of half-formed opinion oozes all over the place. Common sense might suggest that, with the referendum now just a year away, indecision will soon be starting to harden up. In fact, according to one poll two weeks ago, the opposite is happening. In February, TNS found that 15 per cent of people were in the “don’t know” category. This month, in the same polling company’s new survey, that figure had risen to 28 per cent. Alastair Gordon of TNS says: “Both sides are campaigning and the issues that they are raising are leading people to question what they think. So people are moving into that don’t know category.” One pollster reckons that as many as 44 per cent of people in Scotland are shoulder-shruggers – made up of those who may not bother to vote, who will vote but don’t know for what, or who will vote but may still change their minds. Our ICM poll today finds that, among Yes and No voters, 21 per cent admit they may still change their mind.
  • Cesar
    Get a job <a href=" http://radiocfxu.ca/?buy-propecia-online-uk.pdf ">safest place to buy propecia online</a> McFaul is a leading advocate of spreading democratic governance and freedom, and Putin was unsurprisingly outraged by the appointment, which came shortly before Russia’s presidential election. Indeed, the Kremlin launched a campaign to discredit and delegitimize McFaul.
  • Razer22
    I don't like pubs <a href=" http://msmelange.com/buy-buspar-australia.pdf ">buy buspar</a> The pope reminisced about going to soccer matches with his family as a youngster, and expressed concern about violence and discrimination in the sport, which he suggested keeps many families from attending the competitions today.
  • Alfonzo
    What sort of music do you like? <a href=" http://www.bearcreekgolf.ca/?order-diflucan-online-no-prescription.pdf ">fluconazole 150 mg order online</a> Inside Camp Ouellette at Bagram a few days later, the SEALs welcomed me as a messenger, not a journalist. They accepted the piece of the Pentagon and the small wood urn, which was engraved, &#8220;09-11-01.&#8221;
  • Ahmed
    Will I be paid weekly or monthly? <a href=" http://www.theagencylimited.com/cheap-albuterol-inhalers.pdf#toast ">buy albuterol cheap</a> The law’s passage was seen as a major victory for the Muslim Brotherhood and smaller Islamist parties, who are expected to gain a wider majority of seats in parliament as a result. Among their political opponents, there is a widespread belief that this is part of a slow-motion coup.
  • Seth
    Have you read any good books lately? <a href=" http://msmelange.com/strattera-buy-online.pdf ">buy strattera online cheap
    </a> Boehner, asked explicitly whether he would reopen the government if the president doesn&#8217;t agree to any changes to &#8220;Obamacare,&#8221; indicated he would not entertain hypothetical questions.
  • Geraldo
    Until August <a href=" http://right2fueluk.com/buying-clomid.pdf ">buying clomiphene online</a> Libin theorized that "the universe revolves around knowledge workers," suggesting the central thing they have in common is that their productivity depends "completely" on their happiness and state of mind.
  • Tyree
    I'm from England <a href=" http://msmelange.com/strattera-buy-online.pdf#restaurant ">buy atomoxetine online</a> "We play this game so hard, so violent," Groves said. "Any moment, this game could be taken away, and that's the thing I want guys to learn from this. Cherish the moments while you're out here. Cherish tying your cleats up. Cherish the smell of the grass. Cherish snapping that chinstrap on because any moment it can be taken away from you."
  • Junior
    Nice to meet you <a href=" http://drakeed.com/abilify-coupons-printable.pdf#parting ">abilify pill</a> "This parade gives a scent of victory to a military operation which is far from being reasonably presented like that, giving the numerous shadows that surround it and the remaining uncertainties concerning its outcome," said Fabrice Tarrit, the president of the association.
  • Alton
    I hate shopping <a href=" http://right2fueluk.com/buying-clomid.pdf#irritation ">where can i purchase clomid online</a> The company, controlled by Hong Kong billionaire LiKa-shing, said net income fell to C$512 million, or 52 Canadiancents per share, in the third quarter ended Sept. 30 from C$526million, or 53 Canadian cents per share, a year earlier.
  • Joseph
    I've been made redundant <a href=" http://powerbible.com/buy-accutane-no-prescription-online.pdf#medical ">best site buy accutane online</a> A couple of days later, Shriver gave a spirited defense of her husband during a speech to Republican women in Newport Beach. "You can listen to all the negativity and you can listen to people who have never met Arnold, who met him for five seconds 30 years ago," she said. "Or you can listen to me."
  • Billy
    We've got a joint account <a href=" http://www.noyabilgisayar.com/isotretinoin-40.pdf ">accutane online reviews</a> &#8220;It would be premature to anticipate when the next steps would be taken in this investigation, but we have now moved to the phase of preparing a statement of objections,&#8221; he told an event organised by the Lithuanian Competition Authority.
  • Jackie
    Very Good Site <a href=" http://www.rumahgps.com/tricor-singapore-contact.pdf ">tricor cost comparison</a> Adding official aid to an already improving market “is nota risk worth taking” and the chancellor’s move to give morepower to the BOE over the plan may not be enough, said Rob Wood,an economist at Berenberg Bank in London.
  • Lesley
    I work with computers <a href=" http://www.noyabilgisayar.com/buy-retin-a-gel.pdf ">where to buy tretinoin gel 0.1</a> A puzzling response to this problem has dominated recent transportation debates, and it goes like this.В The problems we're experiencing aren't just the result of Congressional inaction. Rather, the gas tax is somehow fundamentally broken. Its main flaw, according to this reasoning, is that it lets owners of hybrid and alternative fuel vehicles avoid paying their fair share in gas taxes because they don't buy as much gasoline as conventional car drivers. And with fuel-efficiency on the way up, the gas tax is doomed anyway, so why bother raising or reforming it.
  • Jamison
    How much is a First Class stamp? <a href=" http://davidcachon.com/otc-nexium-40-mg.pdf ">adderall nexium drug interaction</a> Those who would tame the our deficit by increasing tax revenue, the crack cocaine of the &#8220;political class&#8221;, advocate nothing less than putting out a fire with gasoline. When Washington proves year after year that it can not properly prioritize spending, i.e. separate needs from wants (and meet the needs), it is the height of folly to give it even more revenue to waste.
  • Marquis
    I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name <a href=" http://www.gallerycafe-phuket.com/order-ezetimibe-online.pdf ">order ezetimibe
    </a> Reviewing the records of 634 patients, Duke University researchers found they were 56% less likely to be hospitalized in the 24 months after the imposition of a Kendra’s Law order than in the 12 months before.
  • Pierre
    I want to report a <a href=" http://www.routes4media.com/buy-xenical-online-cheap-canada.pdf#installed ">buy xenical online cheap canada</a> One thing he&rsquo;d failed to forecast, however, was what his neighbours would do. They, unlike him, were not at all prepared. They had no digital generators, and no way to cook the rapidly thawing food from their freezers. At first, one neighbour politely asked if he could join their barbecue. They let him. But the politeness didn&rsquo;t last. This family had something the neighbours didn&rsquo;t have. Something they needed. It made them angry. So at night they broke into the family&rsquo;s house, beat up the father, and stole the generator and all the food.
  • Tyron
    How much notice do you have to give? <a href=" http://www.gallerycafe-phuket.com/order-clomid-online-canada.pdf ">order clomid online canada</a> Hollande saw it was bad for French debt yields for France to be aligned with troubled states such as Greece or Italy; and Merkel feared her rising unpopularity outside Germany was a political liability, and was spooked by the huge potential cost to Berlin if a Greek exit led to a euro zone breakup.
  • Cornell
    How long are you planning to stay here? <a href=" http://www.handsfree.com/buy-retin-a-cream-05.pdf ">buy retin-a cream .05</a> She said: "It's not very often that we see clients in those first few years of marriage but by the five year mark or a couple of years after they have children we often have married couples asking us for advice.
  • Lamar
    this post is fantastic <a href=" http://bislettkebabhouse.no/buy-cheap-tretinoin-cream.pdf ">buy cheap tretinoin cream
    </a> * Michael Dell is fighting a battle over a company that manysay is doomed. Dell wants to take his company private and retoolit without quarterly earnings pressure. In this quest, he isopposed by Carl Icahn, the onetime corporate raider who hasprofited in battles over TWA, RJR Nabisco and Motorola, amongmany others. ()
  • Alexandra
    good material thanks <a href=" http://davidcachon.com/otc-nexium-40-mg.pdf#fish ">nexium capsules delayed release</a> Finally, while homeownership is the aspiration of the majority of Americans, about a third of us are renters. Federal housing policy should balance its support for both homeownership and rental housing options. This balance is critical for a healthy housing market in every community. The nation's housing finance system must support rental housing finance and make it possible to build and maintain quality rental homes that are affordable to our neighbors who need them and available to our neighbors who simply choose them.
  • Madison
    Do you have any exams coming up? <a href=" http://lepetitcochonberkeley.com/does-permethrin-lotion-1-kill-nits.pdf ">permethrin cream 5 25</a> "It's irresponsible to proceed without carrying out acredible trans-boundary impact assessment. The Don Sahong Damwill only push Cambodia and Vietnam closer to a flood crisis,"said Chhith Sam Ath, executive director of NGO Forum Cambodia. (Editing by Martin Petty and Nick Macfie)
  • Charlotte
    What sort of music do you like? <a href=" http://bislettkebabhouse.no/cheap-citalopram-online.pdf#navigation ">cheap celexa usa buy online</a> Her Malibu home has been robbed six times before. Similar incidents at her Hollywood Hills home were the inspiration behind Sofia Coppola's "The Bling Ring" as a group of teenagers allegedly got away with $2 million worth of Hilton's jewelry and a number of designer outfits from 2008 to 2009. Just as in the film, the thieves even tried to take off with one of her pups.
  • Quaker
    I study here <a href=" https://www.sosfaim.be/erfahrung-mit-eriacta-100.pdf ">eriacta 100mg review</a> For the ECB’s test methodology, a crucial question is how banks&#8217; holdings of sovereign bonds will be treated, following a push by the German Bundesbank to reflect more adequately the varying degrees of risk attached to bonds issued by different governments.
  • Haywood
    Insert your card <a href=" http://iacs.org.br/inhaler-ventolin-buy.pdf ">buy albuterol inhaler canada</a> Barbara Mancini, 57, of Philadelphia, is charged with giving a nearly full bottle of morphine to her father, Joe Yourshaw, at his Pottsville home in February for the purpose of helping him end his life. Yourshaw died at a hospital four days later after a hospice nurse called 911.
  • Logan
    I came here to study <a href=" http://www.globaltransfersuk.com/diflucan-tablets-150-mg.pdf#nice ">online pharmacy diflucan</a> Author Tom Clancy in 1985, a year after he published his first book, 'The Hunt for Red October.' Clancy's publisher, G.P. Putnam's Sons, confirmed that Clancy had died on October 1, 2013 in Baltimore.В 
  • Warner
    I'll call back later <a href=" http://www.newsteinehotel.com/where-can-i-buy-priligy-online.pdf ">priligy 30 mg cpr 3</a> While the one-stop-shop dancing business is certainly niche, its challenges are representative of the wider textiles industry. Skilled British seamstresses, for example, are scarce. &ldquo;Occasionally I find a dance enthusiast that I can mould into a good worker on the administration side but it would take a year to train up a machinist with no experience,&rdquo; he says.
Страницы:в начало... 14748  14749  14750  14751  14752  14753  14754  14755  14756  14757  14758 ...в конец