Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 15163  15164  15165  15166  15167  15168  15169  15170  15171  15172  15173 ...в конец
  • Laverne
    Through friends <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/viagra-och-tramadol.pdf#brandy ">canada prescription viagra</a> For ABC, which has suffered a ratings decline that put itlast of the four largest TV networks among the young audiencecoveted by advertisers, Comic-Con is a quick way to tap intoMarvel's devoted fan base.
  • Josue
    Have you got a telephone directory? <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/kamagra-gittigidiyor.pdf ">kamagra manila
    </a> Swiss Re.'s net profit of $786 million for the secondquarter was up from $83 million a year earlier, but it beat theaverage forecast of $659 million in a Reuters poll only becauseof unexpected one-time effects worth around $230 million.
  • George
    I'm not working at the moment <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/para-que-serve-remedio-viagra.pdf#domain ">generico de viagra en mexico</a> If low unemployment and wage increases produce similarlyrobust consumption, all bodes well for bumper GDP growth ofbetween 0.6 and 1 percent when second quarter figures arepublished next week, economists predict.
  • Clint
    What line of work are you in? <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/cialis-online-thailand.pdf ">www cialis usa</a> "It's pretty remarkable that they are selling as many phones as they are, given that it's not a new product," said Michael Yoshikami, chief executive of Destination Wealth, which owns Apple shares. "That's really the key for them; they've got to come up with a new product."
  • Sterling
    Directory enquiries <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/kamagra-50-gel-oral-como-usar.pdf ">where to buy kamagra in johannesburg</a> Yahoo Chief Executive Marissa Mayer pointed to improvements in user traffic to the company's various Web destinations and said the increasing usage would start to show up in Yahoo's revenue growth in the coming year.
  • Buddy
    In a meeting <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/where-to-buy-levitra-in-london.pdf ">lowest price generic levitra free shipping</a> The fighting is further evidence that the 2011 uprising against President Bashar al-Assad's rule has splintered into turf wars that have little to do with ousting him and highlight the risk of regionalized conflicts that could have an impact on neighboring countries.
  • Virgilio
    When can you start? <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/where-to-buy-levitra-in-london.pdf ">price of levitra at walmart pharmacy</a> “Underage drinking is so very dangerous, that’s why MADD appreciates this school’s effort,” said Withers, who praised Cox's intentions but said she should have called an adult. “I’m not there and I don’t know all of the details, but indeed, their efforts to prevent underage drinking through zero tolerance are admirable."
  • Andrea
    Could I order a new chequebook, please? <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/kamagra-uticaj-na-srce.pdf ">kamagra vente en pharmacie
    </a> "I think this is one of those injuries where it's best to push through it, it's best to get out here," he said. "You don't want the ankle to get stiff and get tight on you, so the more you can flex it, the more you can get out here and run, it helps. It helps strengthen the ankle, helps me get back into the groove, as well as stay on pace with the progress I've been making throughout camp."
  • Kareem
    I like it a lot <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/cialis-online-thailand.pdf#madame ">cialis online thailand</a> During a Mass service at Rio de Janeiro&#8217;s Metropolitan Cathedral, the pontiff addressed a congregation of a thousand bishops and clerics &#8211; repeating his message that they must go out to help the country&#8217;s poor.
  • Faith
    Hello good day <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/kamagra-gittigidiyor.pdf ">kamagra price</a> Christopher Kane&#39;s indulgent AW13 campaign saw the revival of a serious gothic aesthetic. Velvet separates and dresses sauntered down the runway in rich navy and burgundy hues, perfect for the cold winter months.
  • Forrest
    Have you read any good books lately? <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/cialis-commercial-2014.pdf#envelope ">cialis dosage bodybuilding</a> "The situation in Gaza does not endure any additional restrictions. We hope that the Egyptians understand the needs of the Palestinian people," senior Hamas official Ghazi Hamad told the BBC.
  • Broderick
    I can't hear you very well <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/viagra-na-recept281-czy-bez.pdf#on ">onde comprar viagra natural</a> “He was like ... rest your legs, you go home, don’t do nothing for your wife,” Cribbs said. “Say baby, next week. You’ll take out the trash next week. I’ll take the kids to practice next week but I’ve got to rest for this game. I’m going to tell him to put it on paper so when I give it to my wife, I can be like, â€�Rex said that I don’t got to take out the trash.’ So he might get a call.”
  • Teodoro
    Would you like to leave a message? <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/cialis-commercial-2014.pdf ">cialis china made</a> That can mean watching him grab a handful of dirt and fling it playfully at Juan Uribe on his way to right field between innings, as he did during Wednesday’s game much to Uribe’s displeasure, it appeared.
  • DE
    Where's the postbox? <a href=" http://www.acadianacenterforthearts.org/the-ingredients-of-viagra.pdf#melt ">kamagra gdzie kupioc oryginaoa</a> After three years in opposition to an economically hamfisted, lacklustre, divided coalition government, LabourВ  is still picking up the electoral bill for its alleged misdeeds in office. No one can stand shoulder to shoulder to Ed against the Tories because no one is exactly sure where he stands on anything.
  • Jackie
    We've got a joint account <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/cialis-envoi-rapide.pdf#easily ">cialis uk paypal</a> Following the Fukushima disaster, nations worldwidereassessed support for atomic energy. Germany decided to phaseout nuclear power, Italy scrapped a planned nuclear programmeand France has pledged to cut nuclear to 50 percent of itselectricity mix from 75 percent today.
  • Garth
    I live here <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/cialis-benign-prostate-enlargement.pdf ">prescription for cialis purchase</a> Katz and Lenfest asked the court to reinstate Marimow aseditor and to terminate Hall, whose contract as publisher ceasedon Sept. 1. (Reporting by Jennifer Saba in New York; editing by GunnaDickson)
  • Jerold
    We went to university together <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/does-generic-viagra-from-india-work.pdf#whence ">non prescription drugs similar to viagra</a> "Co-existence is a myth," said Andrew Kimbrell, executivedirector for the Center for Food Safety, which sued USDA to tryto stop its approval of biotech alfalfa. "We don't know how tocontrol contamination. They say biotech is just another tool inthe toolbox. That is not true. It's a tool that takes over allthe other tools and makes them worthless."
  • Rhett
    I'm not sure <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/zenegra-generic-viagra.pdf ">hur funkar viagra</a> MORELIA, Mexico (AP) — Gunmen ambushed and killed one of Mexico's highest ranking navy officials and the officer escorting him Sunday in the rough western state of Michoacan, authorities said. Two other people were injured in the shooting in an area where a fight between rival drug cartels has caused a new outburst of violence.
  • Isaiah
    What university do you go to? <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/levitra-kaufen-mit-rezept.pdf ">taking levitra after eating</a> "Broadband, in general, undermines the business model thatFoxtel and others have, where you have to buy a package ofprogrammes that you don't want, and 90 percent of which isrubbish," said telecommunications analyst Paul Budde.
  • Bradly
    Another year <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/levitra-prescription-information.pdf ">get levitra prescription</a> Speaking in the House of Commons, Cable said privatisation was "an irreversible course" that would secure the future of Royal Mail in the face of rising competition. "The government's decision on the sale is practical, it is logical, it is a commercial decision designed to put Royal Mail's future on a long-term sustainable business. It is consistent with developments elsewhere in Europe where privatised operators in Austria, Germany and Belgium produce profit margins far higher than the Royal Mail but have continued to provide high-quality and expanding services," he said. "Now the time has come for government to step back from Royal Mail, and allow its management to focus wholeheartedly on growing the business."
  • Noah
    How do you spell that? <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/viagra-online-coupon-code.pdf ">cocaine and viagra death</a> Emerging market stock funds attracted $2.6 billion, marking the biggest inflows into the funds in seven months, according to the report, which also cited data from fund-tracker EPFR Global. The MSCI emerging equities index rose 5.8 percent over the period.
  • Deshawn
    I read a lot <a href=" http://www.acadianacenterforthearts.org/how-to-reduce-side-effects-of-cialis.pdf ">cialis miglior prezzo online in sydney</a> Maxcom said in the court filing late on Tuesday that alongwith certain bondholders and holders of equity interests, thecompany would pursue the same recapitalization plan through thebankruptcy process.
  • Damion
    How do you spell that? <a href=" http://www.acadianacenterforthearts.org/how-to-reduce-side-effects-of-cialis.pdf ">viagra wrocaw apteka</a> Floyd’s interception gave Bridgewater a chance to close strong, and he hit Eli Rogers for the clinching touchdown to send a huge crowd home happy in the final meeting between the schools as conference members.
  • Titus
    I went to <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/necesito-receta-medica-para-comprar-sildenafil.pdf ">sildenafil ratiopharm kaufen rezeptfrei</a> “We had a makeshift soundbooth in the back of Tracey Ullman’s show,” says Smith. “It wasn’t like we had this fancy studio at that time. Before we could do our lines, we had to wait for Tracey to stop singing.”
  • Brain
    I can't stand football <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/kamagra-oral-jelly-danmark.pdf ">kamagra 100 mg opiniones</a> I've been trying these out over the last few days and I've already noticed an improvement. Most importantly, I've put away my phone and focused on the person with whom I'm talking. This simple act of giving people my undivided attention has made a world of difference.
  • Jimmi
    I'd like to pay this cheque in, please <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/canadian-cialis-suplier.pdf ">cialis ed drug</a> Should the Republicans offer up such a program, it would give them the high ground in the debate over the economy and it would test the president's willingness to make a concrete deal. Better still, President Obama ought to offer up these suggestions to the Republican leadership. If they turn him down, it would prove once again that the Republicans are more interested in obstructing the administration than in improving the economy.
  • Madelyn
    Have you got any qualifications? <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/viagra-gel-sale.pdf#indices ">viagra tablete dejstvo</a> The study authors hope further research will provide more insight into prevention strategies against the virus. The CDC estimates that 776,000 Americans become infected by one form of the virus each year. About 16 percent of teens, ages 14 to 19, have genital HSV-2 infection.
  • Daren
    Best Site Good Work <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/kamagra-sildenafil-citrate-ip.pdf ">kamagra uk free shipping</a> Zimmerman told investigators that Martin was on top of him, pounding his head into the pavement. After he fired his gun, he says, he got on top of Martin and spread his arms. However, a photo taken moments later by Zimmerman's neighbor shows Martin's arms under his body. Defense expert Vincent DiMaio testified Martin could have moved his arms in the 10 to 15 seconds he would have been conscious after being shot in the heart.
  • Normand
    Can I call you back? <a href=" http://www.ashr.edu.au/viagra-gel-sale.pdf#waistcoat ">viagra nebenwirkungen herzrasen</a> Recently attempts by the U.S. government to free Kenneth Bae have come up short. In late August, North Korea rescinded its invitation for a senior U.S. envoy to travel to Pyongyang to seek his release.
  • Darrick
    In tens, please (ten pound notes) <a href=" http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/eczaneden-levitra-almak.pdf#local ">levitra be recepto kaune</a> Representatives are likely to vote on the bill on Thursday. A close vote is expected. The White House threat capped a day of high-decibel opposition by congressional Democrats and antihunger groups who called the cuts harsh and heartless.
Страницы:в начало... 15163  15164  15165  15166  15167  15168  15169  15170  15171  15172  15173 ...в конец