Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 3575  3576  3577  3578  3579  3580  3581  3582  3583  3584  3585 ...в конец
  • Jamel
    I can't stand football <a href=" https://www.prolateral.com/why-wont-my-pharmacy-fill-my-prescription.pdf#harshly ">best drugstore eyeliner pencil for oily lids</a> Children&#8217;s Hospital wants a registered nurse to take over limited guardianship of Sarah Hershberger and decide whether she should continue treatments for leukemia. The hospital believes Sarah&#8217;s leukemia is treatable and says she will die without chemotherapy.
  • Thaddeus
    I'm a partner in <a href=" http://funnygirlsonline.co.uk/role-and-scope-of-generic-drugs-in-india.pdf ">walmart pharmacy cheap drug list</a> You'll remember that following the announcement of no change, the bank took the unusual step of publishing a statement alongside the decision that economists said confirmed Mr Carney&rsquo;s status as a policy dove.
  • Mike
    What do you want to do when you've finished? <a href=" http://www.potawatomiheritage.org/generic-drugs-pharmacy-in-india.pdf ">drugs that will be generic in 2014</a> A significant proportion of children who answered the survey, 18%, said they had met in real life friends they had made online. Although a majority took along an adult or older sibling to these meetings, a third said they just went along with friends.
  • Cyril
    I'm a housewife <a href=" http://vegasshotokan.com/can-minors-buy-otc-drugs.pptx ">quality control prescription drugs</a> Updates on the Microsoft console&rsquo;s website confirmed that owners of the console would need to have a Live Gold account if they wanted to play online multiplayer games, or use streaming services such as Netflix to watch films, as they do with the current Xbox 360.
  • Kennith
    What do you like doing in your spare time? <a href=" https://www.prolateral.com/why-wont-my-pharmacy-fill-my-prescription.pdf ">discount drugs for dogs</a> I want to share five truly effective moves that will both work your abs AND burn the fat that's hiding those abs. These exercise are so incredibly effective because they engage your entire core and use large movements, which burn far more calories than isolated moves can. The more muscles you engage, the more oxygen and calories you need to perform the exercise, and that's where the fat-burning begins.
  • Noble
    What do you like doing in your spare time? <a href=" http://www.potawatomiheritage.org/generic-drugs-pharmacy-in-india.pdf ">priceline pharmacy melbourne central contact</a> "When cancer patients understand that their local doctor in their community hospital doesn't have half the new knowledge about their particular subtype of cancer, well, 'gobsmacked' would pretty well describe it," said Clifton Leaf, a cancer survivor and journalist whose new book "The Truth in Small Doses: Why We're Losing the War on Cancer - and How to Win It" is critical of the cancer establishment.
  • Marlin
    Good crew it's cool :) <a href=" https://www.prolateral.com/why-wont-my-pharmacy-fill-my-prescription.pdf#poke ">elite la pharma stanozolol 10mg</a> House Republicans have been demanding that Obama agree to cut funding or delay implementation of his signature healthcare law in exchange for their agreement to approve spending measures to reopen the government.
  • Natalie
    We need someone with qualifications <a href=" http://www.potawatomiheritage.org/generic-drugs-pharmacy-in-india.pdf ">priceline pharmacy melbourne central contact</a> - Davey Johnson’s last season as a manager is starting to end badly. Who would’ve ever believed his Washington Nationals, heavily favored to win the National League East, would be four games under .500 entering Saturday’s play? Even in their best win of the year, Thursday on Bryce Harper’s walk-off homer against the Pirates, Johnson couldn’t fully celebrate as he’d incurred his first ejection of the season. And now there are reports of a divided clubhouse and friction between him and GM Mike Rizzo over the firing of hitting coach Rick Eckstein, who was Davey’s guy. The Nationals rank 28th in the majors in runs and aren’t likely to have a single player with 100 RBI. Their principal set-up man, Drew Storen, has five blown saves with a 5.40 ERA and is likely headed to the minors, and they’re holding their breath to see what’s in store for No. 3 starter Gio Gonzalez in the Biogenesis investigation. Worst of all, however, is the effect all this is having on the Papa John’s Pizza 50% off deal, in which the pizza company is offering half price on all their pizzas in games in which the Nationals win and score seven or more runs. So far, the Nats have qualified only 17 times, a decrease of 24% from last year.
  • Keith
    Very funny pictures <a href=" https://www.prolateral.com/why-wont-my-pharmacy-fill-my-prescription.pdf#annual ">costco pharmacy hours avon ma</a> Chief executive Henry Engelhardt said: "I'm really pleased with our results in the first half of 2013. Any time you can increase profits by 6% when competitors are cutting prices you've got to be happy.
  • Jimmie
    Incorrect PIN <a href=" https://www.prolateral.com/why-wont-my-pharmacy-fill-my-prescription.pdf ">cheapest place for fertility drugs</a> Workers will have lost ВЈ6,660 by the time of the next election and incomes will be ВЈ1,520 lower in real terms in 2015 than in 2010,В  according to Labour analysis of Office for Budget Responsibility forecasts.
  • Marissa
    I'm in a band <a href=" http://www.bakertillygibraltar.gi/list-of-prescription-drugs-in-south-africa.pptx ">pharmacy pregnancy test price</a> Garrie, even though I understand where you are coming from but the Military/VA also interprets service connected disability as medical conditions that are exasperated due to Military life and not caused by the Military. My case in perticular involved an accident in which I hurt my back. Due to military climate in combat arms in which you never go on sick call I ignored the pain for several years and relied on the company medics endless supply of the magic orange pills (motrin). I finally went to a doctor while on leave and they discovered that I had actually cracked parts of my spine. It may have not mattered as far as not having sought medical care prior to then but various parts of my spine had calsified and there was nothing that could be done about it except deal with the pain. I was able to retire with over 20 years even though I did have to leave my beloved Infantry but when I was evaluated by the VA I was awarded 20 %. I appealed mainly because I noticed a mistake in the VA's write up and provided documentation proving my point and I guess I am one of the lucky ones because I was awarded the correct percentage after about 3 months.
  • Mary
    How do you do? <a href=" http://vegasshotokan.com/is-the-costco-pharmacy-open-on-sunday.pptx#wrestle ">curiosity your body on drugs free online</a> The victory also offers the hawkish Abe more leeway to advance his conservative policy goals, including revising the country's pacifist constitution and bolstering Japan's military, which could further strain ties with key neighbors China and South Korea, who are embroiled in territorial disputes with Japan.
  • Trevor
    I'm doing a phd in chemistry <a href=" http://www.axionhealth.com/rx-pharma-ila.pptx#numbers ">cost of icsi drugs</a> The Tea Party Express, one of the anti-tax groups in the conservative Tea Party that has led the fight against Obamacare, sent an email to supporters on Wednesday evening saying that as many as 12 Republicans had indicated they were willing to "give up on the fight" and join Democrats in voting for a funding bill without conditions.
  • Nathan
    Punk not dead <a href=" http://www.axionhealth.com/louisiana-board-of-pharmacy-prescription-drug-monitoring-menu.pptx#meditate ">side effects of misusing prescription drugs</a> Weiner added that his most recent sexting scandal has damaged his wife&#8217;s professional position. &#8220;I feel that what I&#8217;ve done has hurt her,&#8221; Weiner said.В  &#8220;It&#8217;s hurt her professionally, it&#8217;s hurt her personally.&#8221;
  • Cesar
    Looking for work <a href=" http://www.bakertillygibraltar.gi/list-of-prescription-drugs-in-south-africa.pptx#full ">best pharma stocks to buy in 2014</a> "The Affordable Care Act, from beginning to end, has had an extraordinary amount of lobbying," said Leech. "All these rules are being made for the first time, so there's a great urgency to have that first rule be a rule you like."
  • Sidney
    Through friends <a href=" http://www.axionhealth.com/when-did-it-become-legal-to-advertise-prescription-drugs-on-tv.pptx ">coordination of benefits prescription drugs</a> The interviews Wednesday for Qualcomm were not set up through the Mets, according to a source. They were also the first interviews he did where he was hired to plug a specific company, according to a source familiar with Harvey’s thinking.
  • Fifa55
    I'm happy very good site <a href=" http://vegasshotokan.com/health-canada-advertising-of-prescription-drugs.pptx ">top prescription drugs 2013</a> Rusbridger told The World at One on BBC Radio 4: "If you read the whole of Andrew Parker's speech it is a perfectly reasonable speech and it is what you would expect him to say. If you are on the security side of the argument you want to keep everything secret, you don't want a debate and you don't want the press or anyone else writing about it. But MI5 cannot be the only voice in this debate."
  • Leah
    I've got a part-time job <a href=" http://www.axionhealth.com/rx-pharma-ila.pptx ">prescription drugs speed</a> Whether the pundits or the editorial boards like it or not, the Weiner campaign has resonance. He’s reached past the white noise, the sophomoric puns and the embarrassing photographs he took of himself, and has even connected with the young working couple from East New York, Brooklyn, scrambling for a home for their kids.
  • Rebecca
    Recorded Delivery <a href=" https://www.prolateral.com/prescription-drugs-speed-up-metabolism.pdf#pair ">difference between generic and brand name pharmaceuticals</a> The rogue MNLF faction involved in the fighting opposed last year's peace deal struck with the larger MILF. It had signed a separate deal with the government in 1996, but later backed out, complaining the government had failed to abide by it.
  • Elliott
    Could you ask him to call me? <a href=" http://www.axionhealth.com/when-did-it-become-legal-to-advertise-prescription-drugs-on-tv.pptx#inject ">new york gun law prescription drugs</a> Assured and fellow bond insurer National Public FinanceGuarantee led efforts by Stockton's so-called capital marketscreditors to block the city's bankruptcy case, saying citypensions managed by the California Public Employees' RetirementSystem should have been treated like other debt.
  • Tony
    What company are you calling from? <a href=" http://loughcu.ie/vitex-glas-knife.pptx ">vitex for fibroids</a> Burkhardt, who is about to turn 75, stands by MMA's safetyrecord and noted the company had no serious derailments beforeLac-Megantic. "I have never been involved with anything remotelyapproaching this in my whole life," he said.
  • Mackenzie
    magic story very thanks <a href=" http://loughcu.ie/dhea-adrenal-fatigue.pptx ">dhea 50 mg cvs</a> It was a swipe at Germaine Greer and the feminists of the 1970s who criticised women for choosing to be wives and mothers. 'If a woman wants to stay home and take care of her children, why shouldn&rsquo;t we respect that as much as the woman who wants to be a CEO?&rsquo;
  • Quintin
    It's OK <a href=" http://messingengroef.nl/purchase-stallion-slo-cum-spray.pdf ">stallion slo cum spray cost</a> "The rating action reflects our view of the effects offurther weakening growth on Italy's economic structure andresilience, and its impaired monetary transmission mechanism,"S&P said in a statement.
  • Kerry
    Through friends <a href=" http://www.swsforestry.ie/prescription-drugs-for-uti-pain.pptx#smoker ">sc laws prescription drugs</a> The White House said the tentative House plan was notworkable and was designed to appease the Tea Party faction inthe Republican Party who have demanded that any concessions onthe budget be linked to changes in the healthcare law.
  • Nilson
    I'd like to speak to someone about a mortgage <a href=" http://www.madeiraplastica.ws/silodosina-efectos-adversos/ ">silodosin rx list</a> "The SEC is looking into the Regional Center (Gulf Coast) for possible security violations. SEC has issued subpoenas on the Regional Center's bank records. The SEC also informed USCIS of a publicly posted (an) unsigned promissory note posted online which guarantees returns on the GreenTech Automotive investment," according to one official summary that found "fraud was possible but not fully verified."
  • Andre
    I'm in my first year at university <a href=" http://www.delfsail.nl/duramale-side-effects.pptx ">duramale reviews</a> Zimmerman, 29, has gone into hiding since the verdict. Friends, family and defense lawyers have said he will need time to put his life back together and was considering entering law school to help people wrongly accused of crimes.
  • Clifton
    A few months <a href=" http://www.markbrucecompany.com/index.php/tribulus-terrestris-in-mozambique ">tribulus terrestris 2000 mg</a> Lead researcher, Marian Showell, who works in Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of Auckland in New Zealand says in a press statement: "There is no evidence in this review that suggests taking an antioxidant is beneficial for women who are trying to conceive."
  • Williams
    Excellent work, Nice Design <a href=" http://loughcu.ie/vitex-glas-knife.pptx ">vitex 750 for fibroids</a> Wilson was sentenced to death by a previous jury in 2007, but the U.S. Court of Appeals overturned the sentence due to prosecutorial error. In both trials there was testimony that the slayings had boosted Wilson's status in the Bloods gang.
  • Harlan
    Could you tell me the number for ? <a href=" http://www.delfsail.nl/duramale-side-effects.pptx ">duramale capsules</a> The 20-something Beijing lawyers and fans of South Korean pop idol Rain are part of a small but growing number of affluent Chinese for whom the craze for all things South Korean means flying to Seoul for the weekend to have wedding pictures taken.
  • Brooke
    I'm on business <a href=" http://messingengroef.nl/purchase-stallion-slo-cum-spray.pdf#poetry ">order stallion slo cum spray</a> The event took place one week before the new healthcare exchanges open. The exchanges will allow millions of Americans who do not have insurance to sign up for plans that fit their budgets, the White House says.
Страницы:в начало... 3575  3576  3577  3578  3579  3580  3581  3582  3583  3584  3585 ...в конец