Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 5798  5799  5800  5801  5802  5803  5804  5805  5806  5807  5808 ...в конец
  • Bailey
    I do some voluntary work <a href=" https://www.chineng.nl/onze-instructeurs/instructeurs/overijssel ">cialis 40 mg dangers</a> "I still think it is unthinkable that an agreement won't be found," Draghi told reporters Saturday. "If this situation were to last a long time, it would be very negative for the U.S. economy and the world economy and could certainly harm the recovery."
  • Rufus
    There's a three month trial period <a href=" http://vitusbikes.com/products/razor-vrs/ ">viagra hong kong english</a> But exports have begun to slow in recent months, withSeptember exports totaling 78 million gallons, downsignificantly from the 128 million exported in August and the127 million shipped in September last year, the data show.
  • Dexter
    Do you have any exams coming up? http://www.alquist.com/pressroom/resources.html rx sales viagra When asked if there should be unlimited provision of abortion in Ireland, just over half (52%) disagreed. However, one in five trainee GPs agreed that there should be unlimited abortion here, while one in 10 &lsquo;strongly agreed' with this statement.
  • Maurice
    I'd like to send this parcel to http://www.adef.org.ar/escala-salarial/escala-salarial-2006 rogaine where to buy in singapore &ldquo;Jon violated a federal anti-hacking statute in order to publish salacious, scandalous and defamatory information about Kate,&rdquo; said her lawyer A. Jordan Rushie. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s damaged her reputation.&rdquo;
  • Ella
    I stay at home and look after the children http://www.citypink.co.uk/events/tennis-club/clare-balding-navratilova-tuesday-may-5th how often should you take cialis 10mg &ldquo;It is unsurprising that following a bruising 2012, companies have been keen to avoid the spotlight by demonstrating a responsible approach to executive pay this year,&rdquo; said Tom Gosling, head of PwC&rsquo;s reward practice.
  • Boris
    A packet of envelopes http://www.albergoamicizia.com/it/notizie/259-hotel-gay-friendly-rimini-hotel-amicizia-rimini.html doxepin He said the engineer was under "police control" and that they had talked about prosecuting him. Police said on Wednesday evening that the engineer was not under arrest. Attempts by Reuters to contact the engineer were unsuccessful.
  • Garth
    Do you need a work permit? http://www.expoelectric-formulae.cat/en/participation-of-companies/archives-images-and-impact cialis generico tadalafil Just hours before Thursday’s expected floor vote, it was still unclear whether GOP leaders had the 218 votes needed to pass the new measure containing only farm programs. The food stamp part of the legislation would be dealt with separately at a later date.
  • Rufus
    Thanks for calling http://www.albergoamicizia.com/it/notizie/259-hotel-gay-friendly-rimini-hotel-amicizia-rimini.html doxepin ne iГҐВџe yarar The Bank of England's Prudential Regulation Authority (PRA)said on Tuesday Barclays needed an extra 12.8 billion pounds($19.7 billion) of capital, more than it estimated last month,and that it should fill the shortfall in the next year.
  • Gordon
    I can't get a signal http://www.albergoamicizia.com/it/notizie/259-hotel-gay-friendly-rimini-hotel-amicizia-rimini.html doxepin migraine The LME is grappling with its global warehousing system,consulting with Britain's Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) onproposed sweeping changes to storage policy after complaintsfrom end users including major beverage can makers about longwait times for metals and inflated costs.
  • Brooke
    We were at school together http://www.rvt.lv/rvt-95-gadi-intervijas buy finasteride 1mg online uk The question is whether "going global" profitably also counts. Resource projects accounted for most of the $380 billion of total Chinese outbound investment as of the end of 2011, according to China's Ministry of Commerce. Losses on China's overseas investments had reached almost $27 billion, official media reported last year, citing an estimate by analysts at an industry conference in Beijing.
  • Colin
    I'd like to cancel a cheque http://vitusbikes.com/products/nucleus-2012/ viagra 25mg ou 50mg “It wasn’t like â€�Oh, you’re taking my position. Now you’re on your own,’ ” Beatty says. “It was always that â€�We need to get out there and win. I’m here. You’re there. Let’s get the job done.’ ”
  • Samual
    Very Good Site http://www.rvt.lv/rvt-95-gadi-intervijas buy propecia online pharmacy Strom Thurmond, the late Senator from South Carolina, hadread the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights andPresident George Washington's Farewell address during his fabled1957 filibuster to block civil rights legislation. That onelasted 24 hours and 18 minutes, still the record.
  • Israel
    A First Class stamp http://www.albergoamicizia.com/it/fiere-e-congressi-rimini/27-tti-travel-trade-italia.html montelukast generic inactive ingredients Sources close to Team A-Rod had repeatedly told the Daily News that Rodriguez would present evidence to Horowitz that showed he had never used performance-enhancing drugs during those years, and that he was a victim of a conspiracy between MLB and the Yankees to dump him and his massive contract. The Yankees, however, are not named as defendants in the lawsuit.
  • Jozef
    Could you give me some smaller notes? http://www.albergoamicizia.com/it/fiere-e-congressi-rimini/27-tti-travel-trade-italia.html montelukast price mercury drug “You have to have a strategy for presenting your true self to the voters in an environment where there are unprecedented opportunities for those who don’t want you to win to paint a different picture of your true self,” Clinton said, suggesting he’s put far more thought into the 2016 terrain than many had presumed.
  • Johnny
    What's the last date I can post this to to arrive in time for Christmas? http://www.allesoverheffingskortingen.nl/arbeidskorting/arbeidskorting2006/ does taking viagra make you last longer in bed "There's just no impetus today. The big fund managers whodetermine where the market goes in a long term basis are verymuch sitting on the sidelines and any potential change in theinterest rate environment before they make any moves."
  • Marshall
    magic story very thanks http://www.bardahl.com.mx/cosmeticos/liquido-limpia-parabrisas/ prednisone acetate tablets 5mg The BBC&#039;s Sihem Hassaini in Tunis says Mr Brahmi was not a secularist, he was a socialist and practising Muslim with a pan-Arab ideology and even though he was from the opposition he did not have a reputation of being very critical of the Islamists.
  • Brenton
    I'd like a phonecard, please http://www.adef.org.ar/notas-y-editoriales retin a generic tretinoin “We will establish an expert clinical and scientific advisory panel to review and advise on the evidence base and we will work with partners to develop a research and analysis programme to support the delivery and evaluation of the programme at both local and national levels.”
  • Abdul
    I'd like , please http://www.greatsouthernhotel.com.au/contact-us-melbourne/ will viagra work with alcohol Mr Laws said: "Now that we have seen a coalition in action I think credibility and deliverability are going to be extremely important for all the parties next time round. We are acutely aware of that from our experience in government, I think the other parties will be aware of that too."
  • Fifa55
    Do you know the address? http://www.allesoverheffingskortingen.nl/arbeidskorting/arbeidskorting2006/ how much does 100 mg viagra cost at walmart “I embrace the challenge,” Smith said. “I know coach Belichick is one of the masterminds in this league. I have a ton of respect for him and his team. I expect everything, every single look. I will appreciate it because it will help me out in the future. Every single look I get from here on out is going to help me out and I look forward to it. I’m going to prepare myself for pretty much anything because that’s what you can expect coming from that team.”
  • Anna
    What university do you go to? http://www.greatsouthernhotel.com.au/contact-us-melbourne/ order viagra online from india As expected, the market continues to storm ahead in Prime Central London (PCL). Average prices grew 7.2% this quarter to reach £1,472,181. Transactions rose 11.64 % but like England and Wales, the annual increase is low at 2.22%.
  • Juan
    We'd like to invite you for an interview http://www.mmim.es/exposiciones/el-fonendoscopio-de-laennec-a-la-auscultacion-electronica-dos-siglos-de-historia.html xenical medicines According to the data on the federal Healthcare.gov website, the cheapest "silver" plans in the state are in the counties surrounding Atlanta - about $185 a month - where five insurers sell plans. The most expensive are in Georgia's southwest corner, where only Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield (part of WellPoint Inc) sells Obamacare plans at a minimum of $200 a month higher for a comparable plan.
  • Genesis
    I'd like to take the job http://www.greatsouthernhotel.com.au/contact-us-melbourne/ viagra 50 mg price cvs "I just buy it as we need it, hoping that as we get intoJuly that we have good weather during pollination that it willsoften that price a little bit. That's what we are counting on,"Yoder said. "If something happens to that corn crop and pricesstay in that upper-$6 and low-$7 range, we are going to sellmore cows."
  • Parker
    I was born in Australia but grew up in England http://yourselfseries.com/teens/topic-category/mental-health/ para que sirve el meloxicam tabletas de 15 mg Hadassah Peri, who nursed Clark during her final decades in a Manhattan hospital room while her mansions in some of the country's wealthiest neighborhoods sat empty, had stood to inherit Clark's valuable doll collection under the second will. Under the settlement, she and Wallace Bock, Clark's lawyer, will get nothing, their lawyers said.
  • Madelyn
    I hate shopping http://spooool.ie/category/reviews when will coreg cr become generic Less than a fifth of the first-class carriages were full or nearly full, and some had only three or four people in carriages with 48 seats. In almost all cases, passengers were standing in standard class carriages, which seat 80 people each.
  • Salvador
    I live here http://www.allesoverheffingskortingen.nl/ww/hoogteww/ do i need a prescription for viagra in usa To be exceptional, the United States need not be the global policeman, nor an indispensable nation. What it needs is a leader who can clearly outline the principles that the administration and the country stand for, uphold them whenever possible, and take ownership of any failures to do so with honest accountability. Recently, America has fallen far short of that mark, and its exceptionalist rhetoric leaves the bar as high as possible. A little humility wouldn’t hurt.
  • Rolando
    What do you want to do when you've finished? http://ducknet.co.uk/author/lucy-beresford superman combo viagra and cialis
    California officials say they expect state residents will be able on Oct. 1 to enroll online in new insurance plans available under the federal health law, erasing earlier doubts about the readiness of the system.
  • Shawn
    Sorry, you must have the wrong number http://spooool.ie/category/reviews carvedilol 6.25mg tab myl Before Maslowski was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 30s, she'd never paid any attention to fund-raising walks or events. Now she thinks participating in an annual breast cancer walk is one of the nicest ways friends and family can show support for her and help her fight the disease that tried to sideline her.
  • Zoey
    My battery's about to run out http://ducknet.co.uk/author/lucy-beresford viagra price in indian currency IG expects the South Pacific nation’s currency to drop to85 cents in 12 months, according to Weston. The median estimateof analysts in a Bloomberg survey is for 88 cents by the end ofJune next year.
  • Rodney
    I've lost my bank card http://www.fehr-groupe.com/en/openwork-roof.html purchase kamagra online A CNBC poll released on Monday showed that by a 59-19 percent margin respondents opposed linking defunding of Obamacare to a possible shutdown, or to a failure to raise the government's borrowing authority, which is also expected to provoke a showdown by mid-October or early November.
  • Roderick
    This is the job description http://www.skillsactive.com/endorsement/endorsement-compliant-provider buy cheap amoxicillin Another amendment, promoted by state environmental groups and some oil spill committee members, would have triggered an additional tariff of 1.5 cents per barrel should the fund fall below $2 million, but it failed to pass. Payne and others believe any smaller amount would render the fund inadequate in the event of a major spill.
Страницы:в начало... 5798  5799  5800  5801  5802  5803  5804  5805  5806  5807  5808 ...в конец