Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 6586  6587  6588  6589  6590  6591  6592  6593  6594  6595  6596 ...в конец
  • Mya
    I'm retired <a href=" http://www.bartoszkolata.com/generic-substitute-for-micardis.pdf ">micardis tablets 40mg</a> Current policy makers and judges are often not frequent internet users themselves and therefore don&#039;t understand that the complexity and dynamics of the net make services such as The Pirate Bay resilient to simple traditional legal enforcement measures.
  • Diego
    What part of do you come from? <a href=" http://www.bartoszkolata.com/where-can-i-buy-permethrin-in-australia.pdf ">where to buy permethrin clothing spray</a> Zahava Galon, head of the liberal Meretz party, yesterday voiced support for the American-Iranian contacts. “I think that cautious contacts between the US and Iran are the correct and necessary step. If there is any way to prevent Iran going nuclear without another war we have a moral obligation to realise it.”
  • Alberto
    What university do you go to? <a href=" http://1disease.org/buy-cheap-lipitor.pdf#so ">where is the cheapest place to buy lipitor</a> "You hardly had enough Latinos to fill two teams, and of those, most were from Cuba and Puerto Rico. Now you have hundreds of Latino players from all over, mostly from the Dominican Republic, and you could easily fill more than two teams with stars."
  • Bruce
    I've got a part-time job <a href=" http://www.pelvicphysiotherapy.com/oxcarbazepine-order-online.pdf#sadly ">oxcarbazepine purchase</a> At the urging of Cruz and other legislators aligned with theanti-government Tea Party movement, the Republican-led House ofRepresentatives passed the bill providing government funding butwithout money for Obamacare. Passage came on a party-line voteon Friday.
  • Mauricio
    Free medical insurance <a href=" http://www.hardmusica.pt/buy-generic-terbinafine.pdf ">terbinafine 250mg buy online</a> Pretty in Pink, started in 2004 by a Duke Cancer Institute breast cancer surgeon, provides "financial assistance to uninsured and underinsured breast cancer patients with quality, life-saving medical treatment regardless of their ability to pay." It raises money via financial commitments through sponsorships, fundraising, donations and pledge drives throughout North Carolina.
  • Brant
    I'm sorry, I'm not interested <a href=" http://empatiacomunicacion.com/generic-for-maxalt-mlt.pdf ">cheap maxalt 10 mg</a> You can see the EU's point: expecting a widely used product to comply with regulations to ensure safety sounds like common sense. According to The Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) the e-cigarettes currently on the market do not meet appropriate standards of safety and quality.
  • Bruce
    Will I get travelling expenses? <a href=" http://www.globenergia.pl/can-i-buy-clomid-over-the-counter-in-canada.pdf#rainy ">clomid tablets 100mg</a> With activist shareholders pressing tech companies withlarge pools of offshore cash to spread the wealth around, andrates expected to climb in the weeks and months ahead, thesuccess of the Oracle deal means other issuers are likely tofollow suit.
  • Tilburg
    I'd like to pay this in, please <a href=" http://www.domzastare-starapruga.com/omeprazole-cheap.pdf#verse ">over the counter omeprazole prices</a> The 1970s saw a surge in commodity prices, and marked ahigh-point about fears about scarcity. Hubbert appeared to havebeen correct. Meanwhile, the first oil shock sent oil pricessoaring and heightened fears about the dependence on importedoil from the Middle East.
  • Jamison
    I can't stand football <a href=" http://www.bartoszkolata.com/where-can-i-buy-permethrin-in-australia.pdf#treasure ">buy permethrin 5 online</a> In any case, score one for Midwestern manners, but if you’re looking for the real reason the Cards are moving on, it all comes back to their young flamethrowers, as well as the their organization’s ability to draft and develop players.
  • Barbera
    very best job <a href=" http://www.hardmusica.pt/buy-generic-terbinafine.pdf#permitted ">buy lamisil cream online india</a> De Jaeger believes that this demonstrates a wider problem withthe online advertising industry. Video advertising is generallyless transparent than Google Ad Word or display ads in that theyare less likely to be direct response. With direct response ads,the expectation is that those ads will result in some sort ofaction that can be tracked -- a click through to an advertiser'swebsite. That way, the advertiser has metrics it can analyse ifanything goes awry.
  • Maurice
    The line's engaged <a href=" http://www.bartoszkolata.com/where-can-i-buy-permethrin-in-australia.pdf#terror ">does permethrin 1 work for scabies</a> Woods was on the ballot with British Open champion Phil Mickelson, Masters champion Adam Scott, FedEx Cup champion Henrik Stenson and Matt Kuchar. Mickelson also won the Phoenix Open and was runner-up in the U.S. Open for the sixth time. Along with his first major, Scott won The Barclays. If either of them had won the Tour Championship, three wins and a major might have won some votes over five big wins and no majors.
  • Florentino
    Could I make an appointment to see ? <a href=" http://www.madegood.com/can-you-order-metformin-online.pdf#utilities ">can you order metformin online</a> Similarly, after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, researchers found that children were being traumatized simply by watching TV coverage of the event, says Dr. Lawrence Amsel, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University. According to one 2005 study, 8% of children in Seattle showed signs of possible PTSD even though their only connection to the attacks was the nightly news.
  • Renato
    The United States <a href=" http://akademiabielsko.pl/where-can-i-buy-finasteride-uk.pdf#firm ">proscar 1mg australia</a> ROUND ROCK, Texas - Dell Inc. will end its quarter-century history as a publicly traded company and try to engineer a turnaround away from the eyes of Wall Street after shareholders' approval Thursday of a $24.8 billion buyout offer from the company's founder.
  • Jerry
    We've got a joint account <a href=" http://www.huntington-hilfe-salzburg.at/index.php/trental-purchase.pdf ">purchase trental
    </a> The necklace also comes with lettering spelling Help, Love and Cool (excellent for mood swings, but at ВЈ705 each, not so good for your bank balance) and is perfect to instantly jazz up basic t-shirts, or add a playful edge to strapless dresses. For a super sleek look, layer over a silky shell top and team with a messy top knot and red lips.
  • Elroy
    I'd like to transfer some money to this account <a href=" http://akademiabielsko.pl/amoxicillin-850-mg-chlamydia.pdf#christian ">keflex amoxicillin interaction</a> Granderson said he didn’t discuss the Biogenesis situation or the impending suspension with A-Rod while they worked out in Tampa, keeping the conversations on the state of the team and their respective rehab programs.
  • Robert
    No, I'm not particularly sporty <a href=" http://akademiabielsko.pl/where-can-i-buy-finasteride-uk.pdf ">proscar online uk</a> “Growth in buyer numbers and prices have been happening in some parts of the country since the beginning of the year but this is the first time that everywhere has experienced some improvement,” said Mr Bolton King.
  • Marcelino
    A financial advisor <a href=" http://www.domzastare-starapruga.com/avapro-avalide.pdf ">avapro coupons promotions</a> The company also offered a postmortem of sorts detailing what happened. Spoiler: It was &#8220;a very rare event in which two separate, redundant network paths both stop working at the same time.&#8221;
  • Erasmo
    How do I get an outside line? <a href=" http://acttogether.lu/index.php/cheapest-way-buy-rogaine.pdf#senior ">cheapest place to buy rogaine or minoxidil</a> "They now are expected to carry on because they can manage their difficulties, and many do throughout their working lives, but when it comes to retirement then those difficulties are still not recognised."
  • Sofia
    Best Site good looking <a href=" http://oceandelightcottages.net/take-225-mg-effexor.pdf#note ">what is venlafaxine xr</a> Addressing the UN general assembly on Tuesday, Mr Netanyahu vowed that Israel would act alone if necessary to prevent Iran obtaining a nuclear weapon. He has extended this week's stay in the US to conduct a battery of TV interviews intended to counteract the effect of Mr Rouhani's visit to New York last week, which saw the Iranian leader widely feted by American media outlets.
  • Wilbert
    No, I'm not particularly sporty <a href=" http://oceandelightcottages.net/latest-news-on-nexium-2012.pdf ">nexium granules dosage</a> Seven Oppenheimer brokers in the United States sold morethan 1 billion shares of 20 unregistered penny stocks from 2008to 2010, and the company failed to supervise activity in itscustomers' accounts, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority(FINRA) said on Monday.
  • Jarod
    How many weeks' holiday a year are there? <a href=" http://oceandelightcottages.net/latest-news-on-nexium-2012.pdf ">80 mg nexium not working</a> The acquisition is to be funded entirely through new debt,most of which will be raised through Cooper. The banks financingthe deal include Standard Chartered and Morgan Stanley. Apollo said it continued to have committed financing.
  • Lucius
    Some First Class stamps <a href=" http://www.clusterlosser.nl/blog/?p=order-bupropion.pdf ">order bupropion xl online</a> Microsoft Corp. transferred all the users of its other Web email, including those with the hotmail.com and msn.com domains, to Outlook earlier this year as part of its attempt to outshine Google Inc.'s Gmail and Yahoo Inc.'s email.
  • Carmelo
    Best Site Good Work <a href=" http://www.hardmusica.pt/lexapro-mail-order-canada.pdf ">lexapro cheap</a> So usually [in] elections, the Democrat is maybe a little left of center, the Republican is a little right of center. That would be the case when Bill Clinton ran for re-election in 1996 against Bob Dole. But in this case we had an election where the Democrat was a little left of center, and the Republican was representing a party that was not your father's Republican Party. It certainly wasn't Bob Dole's Republican Party. In fact, the health care plan that Bob Dole supported in the 1996 election became Obamacare, which was described by today's Republican Party as socialism when it isn't. That's just not a factual description of it.
  • Wally
    Sorry, you must have the wrong number <a href=" http://oceandelightcottages.net/take-225-mg-effexor.pdf ">venlafaxine xr 75mg cost</a> Some 30,000 children who attend public and private schoolsand their parents were left scrambling to come up with alternateways of getting to school when some 700 drivers represented bythe United Steelworkers of America Local 8751 walked off thejob.
  • Jasper
    We work together <a href=" http://oceandelightcottages.net/latest-news-on-nexium-2012.pdf ">nexium 40mg price uk</a> Preheat the oven to 200C/gas mark 6. Sift the dry ingredients together, then stir in 150-200ml water to produce a soft but not sticky dough. Knead this for 10 minutes then put in a bowl, cover with a damp cloth and leave to rise.
  • Nevaeh
    Another service? <a href=" http://fftm.se/blogg/cheap-fluticasone.pdf ">buy flonase cheap</a> Robert Francis QC, who chaired the public inquiry, noted that the "tenure" of NHS trust chief executives is "shockingly short" and the pool of candidates for such posts is "often small" with clinicians particularly reluctant to put themselves forward for senior leadership roles. Three quarters of the new intake will be doctors or nurses with the rest expected to come from outside the NHS.
  • Herschel
    How many days will it take for the cheque to clear? <a href=" http://www.clusterlosser.nl/blog/?p=order-bupropion.pdf ">order bupropion
    </a> Yet, leaving aside the domestic budget hikes that occurred during some years of these and other Republican presidential terms, conservatives have not been uniformly averse to taking the lead against wasteful, low-priority, or ineffective defense spending. As the report points out, Reagan also appointed the famous Grace Commission, which brought private-sector expertise to bear on fixing Washington's malfunctioning operations. The project unearthed $424 billion in government-wide savings recommendations, about one-fourth of which were attributable to defense programs. Defense secretaries under both the elder and the younger Bushes made decisions to cancel high-profile programs that had become too costly, such as the Navy's A-12 attack aircraft and the Army's Crusader artillery system.
  • Jenna
    I like watching football <a href=" http://www.wrightwaystudios.co.nz/where-can-i-purchase-metronidazole.pdf ">where can i purchase metronidazole</a> Under Sprint's offering, customers buying the latest AppleInc device, the iPhone 5S, would pay a monthly fee of$27 for the device on top of a monthly service fee of $65, plustaxes and a one-time fee of $36 for device activation.
  • Nestor
    I'd like to send this parcel to <a href=" http://www.autovita.lt/index.php/has-anyone-ordered-accutane-online.pdf ">has anyone ordered accutane online</a> Sri Lankan opposition follows a global food scare afterFonterra said earlier this month that some of its products couldcontain a bacteria that can cause botulism. Its products havebeen removed from shelves from China to Saudi Arabia, whileother countries have restricted imports.
  • Chloe
    Directory enquiries <a href=" http://www.mediarakkers.nl/index.php/clotrimazole-pessaries-bp-100mg.pdf ">clotrimazole topical solution ear</a> "It was my belief that this information would be kept on the 'down low' and that it was unlikely that it would be discovered that my pharmacy provided these drugs," Lovoi said in the letter. He demanded that the state "immediately return the vials of compounded pentobarbital."
Страницы:в начало... 6586  6587  6588  6589  6590  6591  6592  6593  6594  6595  6596 ...в конец