Поиск по сайту
на сайте: в интернете:

Рецензии и критика

Раздел "Рецензии и критика" предназначен для публичного обсуждения произведений авторов нашего сайта. На основе ваших мнений будет строиться результирующий отчет.

Так что, обсуждайте, высказывайте свои мнения (для авторов ваше мнение очень важно). Какие недостатки у стихотворения? Правильно ли построена рифма? Что бы вы исправили на месте автора?

Каждое ваше мнение играет огромное значение!

Заявки на рецензирование от авторов принимаются на электронную почту: stihidl@yandex.ru


Вашему вниманию стихотворение:

Автор: Черный Бархат

Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану

Я рассыпаюсь на песчинки грусти..
Возможно боль когда-нибудь отпустит..
И дьявол вдруг меня из лап упустит
Судьба из бархата свои занавес опустит..

Мы снимем маски счастья и улыбок
И смоем тушь ,румяна с кожи бледной
Рабы своих же собственных ошибок
Сгорим в огниве жизни ..да бесследно..

Мы словно клоуны ... улыбки по заказу
И льстим кому-то...за глаза лишь сплюнув
Мы раны солью сыпем..от проказы ..
А Совесть продали..на виселице вздернув

Мы люди с взглядом преданного волка
Мы не считаем тех,кого "убили"..
А на могилы роз букет ..нежнее шелка
Положим..тихо скажем "Заслужили"..

Мы о кочелях детства вспоминаем
На миг в глазах мелькнет кусочек счастья..
Но вновь идем вперед..не замечаем..
Как изменился плод вкусившии власти..

Мы на колени вставших не подымем
И сердце промолчит на слезы мамы..
Последние надежды мы отнимем..
Ведь жизнь течет по писанному плану...

 

Ваша критика и пожелания:

Представьтесь пожалуйста:

 

Что думают читатели и авторы

Страницы:в начало... 7868  7869  7870  7871  7872  7873  7874  7875  7876  7877  7878 ...в конец
  • Eugene
    Can I take your number? <a href=" http://www.lextox.co.uk/buy-lexapro-uk.pdf ">lexapro uk</a> Kerrick and two other officers responded to the call. They found Ferrell on a road that leads only to the neighborhood's pool. Ferrell ran toward the officers, who tried to stop him with a Taser. Police said he continued to run toward them and Kerrick fired 12 shots, hitting Ferrell with all but two. Ferrell died at the scene.
  • Santos
    Sorry, I ran out of credit <a href=" http://www.asconveyorsystems.co.uk/order-alli-online-uk.pdf ">buy alli uk</a> The jacket is available to buy from Browns Fashion by clicking the link now - but be quick - after Miley was spotted wearing the &#39;Join A Weird Trip&#39; t-shirt (as well as Rita Ora, Rihanna and Liberty Ross) the item sold out almost everywhere.
  • Geraldo
    We'll need to take up references <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/cheap-research-paper-for-sale.pdf ">free home work help</a> During a sometimes tearful ceremony in the Royal Palace, Albert, 79, signed a formal act of abdication before his son, aged 53, was sworn in as King Philippe of the Belgians in all three of the divided country's federal languages of Dutch, French and German.
  • Gregg
    I'd like to pay this in, please <a href=" http://ngamgirl.net/essays-on-women.pdf ">cigarettes should be more expensive essay</a> During the August congressional recess, several Democratic politicians will try to build support for climate action by holding events in their districts to show people how their communities will be affected as the world warms.
  • Kieth
    Incorrect PIN <a href=" http://ngamgirl.net/furniture-thesis.pdf ">essay on shivaji maharaj in marathi</a> In a further departure from the traditional educational model, the school's faculty, projected to be experts in their fields from around the world, will not be offered tenure. They will hold classes with the Minerva students online.
  • Graig
    good material thanks <a href=" http://ngamgirl.net/essays-on-women.pdf#console ">parts of a qualitative research paper</a> Meanwhile, mobile network Three plans to put pressure on its competitors when it rolls out its own high-speed broadband later in the year. The firm promised its service would be available across all price plans, meaning customers would not need to pay a premium fee to upgrade.
  • Steep777
    Which team do you support? <a href=" http://ngamgirl.net/social-psychology-thesis.pdf ">good college application essays</a> Hilary&#39;s Leeloo jeans are by Hudson, and are available to buy now at Farfetch by clicking the link (right). We love the monochrome colour blocking that is so on-trend right now, as well as the leg lengthening tuxedo side stripe.
  • Jayson
    An estate agents <a href=" http://ngamgirl.net/social-psychology-thesis.pdf#mural ">essay on faithfulness</a> Despite the big gain, there was muted enthusiasm on Wall Street trading desks. Traders said the rebound in stocks was led by investors buying as they exited from bearish positions built to protect portfolios from declines in the stock market. Others said that hedge funds that had trailed the broader market were being forced to buy stocks to chase the rising market.
  • Tyler
    Have you got a telephone directory? <a href=" http://catraffictickets.com/index.php/essay-type-writer.html#honourable ">essay on impact of overpopulation</a> He said: &ldquo;We have the responsibility to assess emerging vulnerabilities in the economy such as housing, make those assessments and recommend action,&rsquo; he says. &lsquo;Interest rates are principally an instrument of monetary policy for achieving the inflation outcome and there are other tools that address risks.&rdquo;
  • Rebecca
    Wonderfull great site <a href=" http://www.laughmom.com/billy-wilder-movie-maker-critical-essays-on-the-films/ ">social problem essay</a> Osaka-based Panasonic will pull out of the plasma TV business by the end of the financial year to March 2014, sources familiar with the situation told Reuters on Wednesday. The news was first reported by the Nikkei business daily.
  • Harold
    I saw your advert in the paper <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?cat-essay ">essay publish</a> Issa&#8230;&#8230;..really, anything his name is attached to whether its a bill or a investigation, watch his campaign contributions. He should be investigated. He is one of the most corrupt Politicians in Washington.
  • Katelyn
    Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? <a href=" http://ngamgirl.net/furniture-thesis.pdf ">how can i do my homework faster</a> “You have family members, you have friends, you have your kids. How well do you know your kids?” Brady said Thursday. “You try to do the best you can do, but everyone is ultimately accountable for their own decision-making and the words that come out of our mouths and for the actions that take part. I’m certainly accountable to a lot of people here. I’m accountable to my family, I’m certainly accountable to the community because I realize the role model that I am. I do take that as a very serious responsibility. I try to go out and represent this team and this organization the best way I know how.”
  • Julio
    I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name <a href=" http://www.asconveyorsystems.co.uk/can-you-buy-clomid-online-uk.pdf#disappointing ">cheap clomid uk</a> Hindustan Petroleum Corp and Mangalore Refineryand Petrochemicals halted their Iranian oil purchasesin April amid difficulties securing insurance for refineriesprocessing oil from the sanctions-hit country.
  • Deadman
    I like watching football <a href=" http://www.lextox.co.uk/nolvadex-uk-source.pdf ">buy nolvadex online uk</a> "Congratulations on your engagement!!! so happy you found true love! I pray you have a long, happy, blessed marriage! Xoxo!" Heidi tweeted, while Spencer added: &ldquo;Sincerely wishing you all the happiness in the world on your engagement. Congratulations!"
  • Quentin
    I'm interested in this position <a href=" http://firststopwebdesign.org.uk/buy-clomid-online-uk-paypal.pdf#privately ">clomiphene uk</a> In just two weeks after the global launching the Plants vs. Zombies 2 from the house of PopCap/Electronic Arts (EA) has crossed the mark of 25 million downloads. In fact, this figure has also crossed the sales figure of first Plants vs Zombies in its lifetime. The original was launched in 2009/2010.
  • Sofia
    Is it convenient to talk at the moment? <a href=" http://firststopwebdesign.org.uk/buy-clomid-online-uk-paypal.pdf#occupy ">buy clomid online uk paypal</a> Yet what a model of integrity he offers today&rsquo;s creative artists, with their febrile quest for novelty and sensation. Verdi, in contrast, ploughed his professional furrow for three score and 10 years, steadily improving his technique and broadening his vision: almost every opera he wrote, from Un Giorno di Regno in 1840 to Falstaff in 1893 improves or advances in some dogged way on its predecessor, underpinned by a fundamentally noble view of humanity that balances compassion with justice. He may have been gruffly sceptical, disdaining lickspittle politicians and pretentious frauds, but he was without cynicism: his moral values were rock-solid and unassailable, rooted in the soil of Emilia-Romagna and an entirely realistic sense of his own abilities and worth.
  • Emmett
    How do you do? <a href=" http://kimhargreaves.co.uk/buy-ventolin-syrup-uk.pdf ">ventolin uk dose</a> You want it to be that night with Andy Pettitte, him against John Smoltz, because once you take Don Larsen’s perfect game out of the conversation, it was one of the best nights any Yankee starter has ever had in October.
  • Oliver
    Thanks funny site <a href=" http://www.northsomersetenterpriseagency.co.uk/citalopram-uk.pdf#sole ">citalopram uk</a> Businesses also stepped up their level of recruitment in September amid signs of a large build-up of order backlogs. Some 7pc more companies reported a rise in backlogs than a fall, the survey found.
  • Solomon
    I saw your advert in the paper <a href=" http://www.asconveyorsystems.co.uk/can-you-buy-clomid-online-uk.pdf#measures ">clomid success rate uk</a> There was a titter or two when we met inept antiques expert Mr Pfister (Jim Piddock), Tom&rsquo;s gobby jack-the-lad best pal Pete (Tom Bennett) and intense old-photo expert Neville Saint-Aubrey (Christopher Fairbank). Sops for the show&rsquo;s US viewers, you couldn&rsquo;t help thinking, who probably like to laugh at those odd English types. It all felt a bit too random, too unconnected.
  • Broderick
    A Second Class stamp <a href=" http://www.lextox.co.uk/nolvadex-uk-source.pdf ">buy nolvadex online uk</a> The 2010 Apprentice winner resigned from the company in May 2011 and then felt pressurised into taking up a new position at Lord Sugar&#039;s internet set-top box company YouView, Ms English had told the hearing.
  • Silas
    Where's the nearest cash machine? <a href=" http://firststopwebdesign.org.uk/buy-clomid-online-uk-paypal.pdf#first ">clomid prescription uk</a> Bentonville, Arkansas-based Wal-Mart is still committed totrying to grow operating expenses at a slower rate than sales.Overall, capital spending is set to be $12 billion to $13billion this year and $11.8 billion to $12.8 billion next year.
  • Goodboy
    Insert your card <a href=" http://abcmedicalservices.co.uk/voltaren-tablets-uk-boots.pdf ">buy voltaren gel uk</a> In the past, occasionally, the computer didn’t know what it was doing. Someone such as Caroline Wozniacki would fool the WTA’s hard drive by playing a million minor tournaments and emerging at No. 1. Not this time. The computer warned everyone. Foolish humans, however, insisted on including 252 additional players in both draws, for no apparent reason.
  • Cliff
    How many weeks' holiday a year are there? <a href=" http://firststopwebdesign.org.uk/buy-voltaren-tablets-uk.pdf ">voltaren gel buy uk</a> Sitting in between these two crepuscular novelties is Rambert boss Mark Baldwin&rsquo;s perky paean to both Charles Darwin and Merce Cunningham, The Comedy of Change, making more sense than either of the other pieces and, despite some misgivings when it premiered back in 2009, the highlight of the bill. Throughout the evening, the dancers - perhaps elated by their imminent move to a richly deserved new home on London&rsquo;s South Bank - performed superbly, by even their customary Roll&rsquo;s-Royce standards.
  • Jessie
    I'm about to run out of credit <a href=" http://abcmedicalservices.co.uk/accutane-gp-uk.pdf ">is accutane legal in the uk</a> Since the U.S. Congress bolstered FERC's enforcement power in 2005 following the California energy crisis and the Enron scandal, the regulator has pursued several high profile market manipulation cases against power companies, banks and now oil companies.
  • Nathanial
    Will I get paid for overtime? <a href=" http://firststopwebdesign.org.uk/alli-uk.pdf ">when will alli be available again in the uk</a> When we go to tournaments, we see that so many of these teams have different players every time. But that's not the case with us. We're almost like family, we're so close. We're all very positive people, and we love to encourage each other rather than being negative. We encourage each other to keep our bodies up, eat sensibly and stay in the gym, and I think it rubs off on each one of us. In fact, one of my teammates said this team has made her a better person. And I can honestly say it has changed my life remarkably. It's been quite an adventure.
  • Incomeppc
    I went to <a href=" http://abcmedicalservices.co.uk/generic-fluoxetine-uk.pdf ">order fluoxetine online uk</a> Steve Connor is the Science Editor of The Independent. He has won many awards for his journalism, including five-times winner of the prestigious British science writers’ award; the David Perlman Award of the American Geophysical Union; twice commended as specialist journalist of the year in the UK Press Awards; UK health journalist of the year and a special merit award of the European School of Oncology for his investigative journalism. He has a degree in zoology from the University of Oxford and has a special interest in genetics and medical science, human evolution and origins, climate change and the environment.
  • Jackson
    I've been made redundant <a href=" http://abcmedicalservices.co.uk/generic-fluoxetine-uk.pdf#mixture ">online pharmacy uk prozac</a> But Conte said his telephone exchanges with Rodriguez and Bosch gave him the impression that the self-styled “biochemist” was deeply involved in what Bosch called “A-Rod’s program.” Conte said Rodriguez referred to Bosch as “his nutrition guy.”
  • Savannah
    An envelope <a href=" http://incredibleaquagarden.co.uk/quetiapine-uk-license.pdf#wisdom ">seroquel online uk</a> However, please note - if you block/delete all cookies, some features of our websites, such as remembering your login details, or the site branding for your local newspaper may not function as a result.
  • Steven
    I'll text you later <a href=" http://www.lextox.co.uk/finasteride-uk-side-effects.pdf ">buy propecia 5mg uk</a> Our Classified websites (Photos, Motors, Jobs and Property Today) use cookies to ensure you get the correct local newspaper branding and content when you visit them. These cookies store no personally identifiable information.
  • Angel
    I'm in a band <a href=" http://www.lextox.co.uk/finasteride-uk-side-effects.pdf#undertaking ">where to buy finasteride uk forum</a> In terms of cerebral palsy cases, Dr Mahony said it is estimated that only 10% of cases may be related to labour, and parents often have no choice but to litigate in order to get the necessary services and income to look after their child.
Страницы:в начало... 7868  7869  7870  7871  7872  7873  7874  7875  7876  7877  7878 ...в конец